The president of our board announced that I had "something really exciting to tell everyone!!" It had all to do with my responsibilities on the board, and nothing at all to do with my personal life.
Someone exclaimed, "Are you engaged?!?!" which then started a ripple effect of gasps, "you're engaged??"'s and other hullabaloo.
And then an elephant walked into the room and sat right next to me and said "ex".
I could feel him squirming in his seat, and I felt similar. He stared down at the table and didn't look up at all while the commotion went on. I could feel the distress radiating off of him. All of my hard work avoiding the subject of "new boyfriend" in front of him just flew out the window in about one minute. I felt so awful trying to imagine how uncomfortable he must have felt at that moment. I never had intentions to rub it in that I now was dating someone who was not him. I quickly tried to defer the subject away from my personal life and back to business matters, telling everyone that I was not engaged.
I was SO close to passing him a note but I was not sure if it was just make things worse, so I didn't. Plus what would I have said?... "Sorry that everyone was asking if I was engaged to someone who is not you because we are not dating anymore and things just got extra awkward because it was not that long ago and we didn't ever have closure with it all and things didn't end as well as they could have with us."
Instead I gave the elephant some peanuts and sent him on his way.
Not going to lie, but I felt the uncomfortable vibes coming off of you two, and I will admit that I was apart of the "Oh my gosh, you're engaged?!" people.. But that's because I love overreacting and being excited about little things. It's in my nature, but I did immediately regretted it the moment I felt those vibes.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand how uncomfortable Kameron must've felt, because I, too, have been in that situation. Kameron probably feels rejected, because he did really like you. But you know, we all have to feel like that at some point or another. Sometimes things work out, and sometimes things don't. We just have to accept disappointment.
It's funny though, I remember that day as clear as blue skies. But it's nice to actually read it from your perspective. I do admire how mature you and Kameron are. Everyone talks about it. But the fact that you two were so mature around each other, it seems too good to be true. I was right, things are still so uncomfortable. And honestly, is there a solution? I don't know. Guess we'll find out.
I don't really know everything about what you're talking about :) But like the commenter above said, we all have to go through it. I do NOT miss all the awkward, elephant in the room moments. However, I'm super grateful I went through them. Because it brought me to where I am now.
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