The Dating Game always seems to be a cliche that you hear about, but
never truly experience. Until you do. Then you realize that all of these
"he says, she says" stories can in fact, be fact. At least to some
varying degree. It's a little surprising when this happens.
You were so surprised to hear his voice on the other end of the phone
after you thought you'd only see him at one or two group reunions
commemorating your month-long study trip you happened to both go on. You
had thought he was the only cute one the whole time, but never thought
anything would happen when you would hit the homeland. Especially since
he had chosen to flirt with some of the "unavailables" the whole time,
and you thought that was really weird. He was out of your mind. But then
you hear his words come through the other line that say:
"I should have asked you out when I came to pick up my luggage at your house a week ago."
You were surprised, but you said yes.
He picks you up, and you reminisce over Italian pizza. He is much
funnier in this setting, and seems more at ease than you had noticed
before. He makes comments alluding to "not making a move before" and you
are still surprised that he called you five days earlier in the first
place. You wanted to know what his intentions were, because you never
can assume the obvious.
He walks you to the door, saying on the way, "This didn't feel like a first date at all" and you know why.
You are even more surprised that when you go in for a hug, he goes in
for a kiss. Which then results in him kissing your lower left cheek. You
thought in your 5 years of dating you had done pretty well to avoid
that awkward situation, but then realize it has to happen at least once
to everyone. This had just been your time.
You walk inside even more surprised at how the past week has turned out-- never imagining this.
You stare blankly at the floor for what felt like 79 seconds wondering if that had just really happened. Then you realize you're going to have to tell your roommates how the date went, ending
with, "He kissed me. Well, he first missed my lips, but then I let him
do a redo. It takes a lot of guts to kiss a girl."
You're surprised that during the second date, he holds your hand in
public. He's charming and you roast mini marshmallows with toothpicks
and a tea light. You still have no idea what
his intentions are because he lacks the ability to let any form of feelings slip from his lips. The only form of anything coming from his lips that night didn't miss this time.
You're again surprised that he doesn't contact you for a whole week.
Then, when you see him at the reunion like you always thought you would,
it was awkward. So you decided to be a big girl and go say hi to him,
because he wouldn't say hi to you. There was still a white elephant in
the room that only you two were aware of, but you feel like you played
it out pretty well.
You thought that because you gave the courtesy of honesty to other guys
in the past, Karma would makes its rounds to you. But Karma doesn't, so
you decide to drop it. It's not worth stressing over someone who doesn't
make an effort after stealing a couple of kisses. Even though it's
annoying and goes against your code.
Though time has passed, you're surprised that you still wonder of his
previous intentions. You wonder if it was something you did or said, or
didn't do or didn't say. You wonder if his intentions were to fulfill pressure
from the outside expectations. You're then surprised that you've become
one of those girls who has insecurities about a boy who stopped
talking to you. That makes you disgusted with yourself, because you are
exceptionally good at not caring. So then you go back to not caring.
You weren't surprised to find out that the reoccurring theme in your life is indeed becoming more and more of a fact.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Breaking hearts= not fun.
This song stings a little. Especially because it was dedicated to me by a boy I had broken up with a few months prior.
I still feel like a jerk.
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